Monday, September 15, 2008

10 Every Day

Ten Things I do Every Day:

1 Curse loudly at alarm.

2 Offer a sacrifice to my "Rock" altar.

3 Run two laps before my coffee (around my counter island).

4 Circle the parking lot until I find my bosses car. Park at diagonal to block slacker in.

5 Slap out of order sign on coffee vending machine. Sell home brew for 2 bucks a pop.

6 Phone home. Request whatever is not in fridge for dinner.

7 Moisturize hands with lotion. Rub greasy paws on Captains window in an pressed ham shape.

8 Bring home picture of inmate. Tell kids inmate is new dad.

9 Complain about smaller size ice cream containers. Eat twice as much.

10 Hold deep meaningful conversations with feral cays while distributing kibble. Answer self in Sylvester voice.

11 Bongo a chorus of "Tusk" on hubby's belly.

12 Practice counting.

1 comment:

Rootietoot said...

What the heck is up with ice cream containers? Same price, and 25% less product. It's a plot.